~etherealism

Here's a little something that will help the people in the Help With Life forum get a better, more desired response from the community.


How to Provide Help in the Help With Life Forum
Common Issues in the Help With Life Forum
How to Get Help on the HWL Forum
The Help With Life Forum



What Can We Help You With?

There are lots of things you need help with in life and asking for help in the forums is a good way to get a lot of different perspectives. Problems don't have to be serious -- although, we can handle those, too. Feel free to ask about anything from what new haircut to get, to how to cope with a loss of a relative.

      Things to keep in mind:
      We cannot do your school homework for you.
      We cannot diagnose your illness, be it physical or mental.
      We cannot discuss sexual related problems in graphic detail.
      Your posts need to be an actual request for help - not a rant or journal entry.
      Just avoid the word "emo"...

Use Appropriate Thread Titles

Name your thread using a phrase or sentence effectively describing your problem as specifically as possible. A thread called "love problems" can mean anything from you having broke up with your sweetie, to you having sexual problems with your sweetie, to your friend having problems. A good thread title will help the people who can answer your questions find you more quickly.

Utilize Proper Paragraphs

I think that textwalls may be the number one source of problems not being approached in HWL. If you don't have time to think about paragraphs while you're typing, please go back and add some when you are done. They make it much easier for us to read your problem, and the better we can understand you, the better we can help you. You could even make a bulleted list to organize your separate problems or details of the same problem.



Spell and Punctuate Properly

And excessive cursing should be avoided, too. We know you're frustrated, and possibly in a hurry. We aren't expecting you to submit grade A college level work here, but we do need to understand what you're typing. People will tend to take you more seriously when you do this. Most people find it easiest to use a word processor to spell check their work, and then copy and paste it into the forum, but if you don't have one, here's a free online spell checker: SpellCheck.net

Don't Use the SUB or SUP Tags

That is, in excess. Excess being your entire post. You may think it looks cool, but it makes your post difficult and hellacious to read, which often gets your post ignored. Just don't do it.

Provide Details

Some problems and questions can be summed up in one or two sentences, but most are more complex than that. Try to be as specific as possible when describing the problem. Saying, "My parents are abusive," for instance, does not tell people enough to be able to help you.

This is Not the Complaints Forum

This means that you should come to the HWL forum wanting to be helped. Venting is fine and can be very stress relieving, but it's frustrating to the people trying to help when you don't really want help. This doesn't mean we have to directly help you solve your problem. You can ask for help being cheered up, or ask for people to share their similar experiences, and so forth. But if you just want to bitch about it, go to the Complaints forum. They'll give you everything you need there!

Don't Lie to Us

Please don't tell us lies about your life. It may seem like a good idea at the time to lie to people for attention, but it is very mean and will more often than not lead to you getting more frustrated than before. There are much better and kinder ways to get attention. The best way I know of is to give other people attention first. For instance, you could go to the Thumbshare forum and offer to critique people's work for free.



Don't Respond to Flamers

Sometimes I see people who are asking for help only responding to the non-helpful people in their thread. They ignore people who are trying to be kind and helpful, because they can only focus on the one ass who said something harsh and mean about their problem. This is bad for two reasons: you're ignoring people who are giving their time and effort to help you, and this will discourage them from helping you in the future, and responding to flamers more often than not just causes them to continue flaming you. I know it's hard, but just ignore 'em! You should also consider that some flamers are just trying to make a joke in hopes of cheering you up -- so use discretion before you get too angry at them.

Age Does Make a Difference

To a degree. Be honest about how old you are, and you might even want to state it up front. Also, I know that when you're young, it may seem like there isn't much of a difference between what a fourteen-year-old knows and what a twenty-four-year-old knows, but please at least give it some serious thought. Try not to get mad when someone talks to you like you haven't had much experience in life, because they just may know something that you don't.



If you see anything that you think needs changed, corrected, or added, say it! If you want to link to this, do it! Coming soon: How to Help People in HWL - If you'd like to help me out with that, note me!